Tonight At Noon (Updated) by Hinch (With apologies to Adrian Henri
Tonight at noon
Supermarkets will refuse to stock Easter eggs before March
Tonight at noon
Children will learn how to skip again and to roll iron hoops
Bankers will take pay cuts to help the homeless
North Korea will scatter rose petals over the South
The Daily Mail will print messages of joy, tolerance and forgiveness
The first snows of summer will appear
And all our reservoirs will be forever brimming
Tonight at noon
Roaming dogs will clear up their own mess
Drake Street will ring to the sound of jingling tills and happy shoppers
Rochdale will be declared a World Heritage Centre
Salmon will be sighted leaping up the weir on Smith Street
And kebab shops will cater only for vegetarians
Fat ladies will refuse to wear their leggings
In markets and cafes
And track-suits will be worn only by sportsmen
Taxis will give way at crossings
Kareoke in pubs replaced by live music
Long queues outside our libraries
Traffic wardens embrace illegally-parked motorists
Flowers grow where once only litter flourished
Councillors set politics aside in order to work for the common good
Shoppers flock into town to marvel at the wondrous markets
and
The sun will rise serenely in the West
Tonight at noon
THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS
Oh yes, very bloody droll. Maybe 'tonight at noon' old Lard-Ass will get his backside off the mattress and go out and earn some money.
Sheds don't really write poetry but I'll have a go:-
There once was a geezer called Pete
Who was more on his ass than his feet
He would much rather shirk
As his wife went to work
While he supped his home-brew for his treat
Maybe I can do something more personal to me:-
No wonder this Shed is so BLUE
Being here is as bad as the zoo
I stand freezing all night
As the cats yowl and fight
When it rains I get soaking wet through.
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