Sunday 18 March 2012

NHS Blues

Well, massive and very welcome news in today's Indie. A letter signed by almost 250 of the UK's top doctors has expressed massive opposition to the Bill and the failure of the democratic process by the coalition.
 
It says, "... we believe MPs and peers have played the political survival of the coalition above professional opinion, patient safety and the will of the country. The Liberal Democrat leadership ignored the democratic view of its spring conference, continuing to support a Bill that betrays the proud heritage of Beveridge's vision of the welfare state. It has colluded with its Conservative coalition partners and utilised all the political dark arts of obfuscation, deceipt and media manipulation to confuse and conceal the Bill's underlying objectives in order to force it through. Liberal peers have even voted against their own amendments.
 
"Shocked by the failure of the democratic process and the role played by the Liberal Democrats in the passage of this Bill, we have formed a coalition of healthcare professionals to take on the coalition MPs at the next General Election, on the non-party, independent ticket of defending the NHS and acting in the wider public interest."
 
Among others, the letter is signed by Dr Clive Peedell and Dr Jacky Davis, Co-Chairs of the NHS Consultants Association, Professor John Ashton, John Moors University and Professor Wendy Savage, Obstetrics & Gynaecology, Middlesex University.
 
The coalition aims to put up against 50 of the current Lib Dem-marginals or high-profile seats. The Indie is backing the campaign and says that the Bill should have been ditched a year ago when it was falling apart in order to make some cosmetic tweaks.
 
So, if the Lib Dems really do want to continue to claim Beveridge as one of their own, they need to get in step with a few founding principles.
 
 
No doubt the local Lib Dem apparatchiks will continue to defend the Bill and bleat about the nasty doctors. Let them carry on in their folly and face a well deserved kicking in the election.
 
Safe in their hands? Apparently nobody but them and a few money-grubbing GPs thinks so.

Tuesday 13 March 2012

Blue Shed Cynicism

I've been wondering lately how everyday terms we use are not always what they seem. I thought I'd share some of my favourites:-


Freedom of Information Act - A piece of legislation ensuring that the government, local councils and organisations can retain secret information.
Border Control Agency - A game of cat and mouse in which the mouse nearly always wins and on the rare occasions that it is caught, is released on bail the same day never to be seen again.
Workshop - Time spent away from the workplace chasing rainbows and building castles in the air.
Life imprisonment - A term of incarceration rarely lasting more than ten years.
A Home - A place where children are put into away from their normal place of residence.
Care in the community - Being turfed out of hospital.
Communication Department - A body charged with ensuring that any information it gives out is totally incomprehensible.
Human Resources - A department staffed by the inept and unknowing tasked with the the avoidance of any rational decision-making.
ASBO -  A document giving street cred to scrotes, thugs and hooligans.
Community Support Officers - Failed police officers.
Sat Nav - An instrument for assisting motorists to locate cul-de-sacs, bridleways and one way streets.
Customer Helpline - A 'service' that gives you plenty of time to cool down before registering your complaint.
Equal Opportunities - Ensuring that opportunities are heavily weighted in favour of small sections of the community.
Chief Executive - A person given a massive salary to enable him to pay for teams of management consultants to do his job for him.
All original I'm afraid. What a cynic I am.
THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS:
I've got another couple for old Lard-Ass:-
Retirement - Sitting on your fat arse all day, moaning and groaning and trying to put the world to rights with alcoholic accompaniment.
Gardening - Sitting on your fat arse looking out of the window of your conservatory thinking to yourself that it's too cold to go outside.
Cats - An animal that produces three times its own weight in shit every day ande leaves it wherever it chooses; preferably as close to a BLUE SHED as possible.
Work - Something that old Lard-Ass has developed a major allergy to.
Errr... that's it.

Tuesday 6 March 2012

Council Election Blues

My latest Opinion piece for Rochdale Online
ELECTION PLEDGE: THE HONESTY PARTY
“The promise given was a necessity of the past. The word broken is a necessity of the present.” Niccolo Machiavelli
            The month after next, the local elections will be upon us once again and I am minded to stand as a candidate. I have had a good look round at the local parties but to be honest, none of them really appeal to me so I thought I’d form my own.
I think that in Rochdale we really are due for a change. I know that they all say that but I really mean it. Like many, I don’t think that Rochdale has been particularly well-served by politicians of any hue over the past few decades so I’ve come up with something very different. I’m calling it The Honesty Party and here is my manifesto.
Over the next few weeks, you will probably see me on your doorsteps or receive one of my fliers. After that, I faithfully swear that you will see neither hide nor hair of me for at least another three years.
Rather than make a lot of false promises that you and I know I have no intention of keeping, I will not insult your intelligence and will keep these pledges to a minimum.
·         I pledge to put the people of Rochdale first as long as this does not interfere with any in-party wrangling.
·         I will be totally honest with you at all times unless it is in any way inconvenient for me to do so.
·         I will make myself available to my constituents any time that I feel that it is reasonable for me to do so.
·         Without fear or favour, I will not vote for any policies unless I feel that it is in my interest to do so.
·         I will regularly attend all meetings required of me unless it clashes with my social calendar or my television viewing.
·         If I decide to change party before my term of tenure is up, I swear faithfully not to submit myself for re-election.
·         I pledge that at all times I will never let any sense of honour interfere with my role as a councillor.
·         I promise to faithfully accept and act upon the advice of paid council officers at all times and in all circumstances.
·         I pledge to draw my councillors’ allowance regularly and in the fullest measure.
·         I will never let my complete lack of vision interfere with my council duties.
·         I will do my utmost to ensure that my photograph appears in the newspapers as often as possible.
·         I promise at all times during my tenure to try to live somewhere within the M62 corridor.
·         I will answer all letters and emails whenever I can find the time and energy to do so.
·         I pledge to ignore any or all of my pre-election promises in line with current expediency.
There you are. You may not agree with all my points or even like them but if you vote for me and it all goes tits-up, at least you won’t have any grounds for complaint.
I believe that this gives me a distinct advantage over my opponents.

THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS
I think old Lard-Ass might be on to something here. He is bone-idle so a councillor's life might suit him. Even scratching his own ass these days seems to be a major effort for him.
Mind you, I REFUSE to allow him to pin up any election posters on my pristine BLUE paintwork.

Thursday 1 March 2012

Review: First Chop Bar/Restaurant, Ramsbottom

43 Bolton Street, Ramsbottom.
Getting there:- Take East Lancs railway to Ramsbottom or 472 or 474 bus from Bury.
Blink and you'll miss it.
General
This is a real find. A bar come eatierie and my scores will reflect the fact that this IS a bar rather than a full-blown pub or dedicated restaurant. It is a shop conversion and has been in business for three years or so. Great range of real ales and ciders plus 6-7 continental beers on draught. Also cocktails and a good range of malts.
The main bar is at street level with a smaller bar and seating downstairs.
Ray, the owner is a real enthusiast and only puts beers on that he likes. Same with the food.
It is on the East Lancs Railway Ale Trail.
Live music on Thursdays and Sundays
Real Ales
Five beers on handpump. This can reduce to four midweek. Most from local breweries. I tried one from Irwell Vale, another from Porter's plus a real cider. Other brews not sampled came from Phoenix and Hawkshead, Thornbridge and Elland. All in tip top condition. If you buy five pints in a week your sixth is free but if you are a CAMRA member you don't have to drink them within the week.
Score 5/5
Other beers
Also, Liefmans, Amstell and four other continental beers and lagers on draught.
Score 5/5
Real Cider
Four real ciders on all the time.
Score 5/5
Bottled beers
A great selection of bottled beers from around the word including Belgium, Germany and the USA. Also fruit beers, root beer and dandylion and burdock. 
Score 5/5
Wine
9 wines that can be bought by the glass. On Tuesdays and Fridays if you buy two large glasses before 6.30, you get the bottle for free! Most of wines in £11-£14 range.
Also champagnes.
Score 5/5
Decor/Style/Ambience.
Plain, pine tables and seating. Functional rather than decorative.
Score 4/5

Toilets
Not visited

Food Tapas, sandwiches and their own fabulous burgers including the Burts cheese. £5-6 range. Sharing platters and much more. Kids get any tapas, fat chips, a fruit juice and ice cream for a fiver! On Tues-Thurs, buy two tapas and get a third free. All food is top quality and is sourced from local cheesemakers and bakeries in the north west.
 

Disabled access 
Score 5/5
Wheelchair users would have a problem as this is not a large bar but Ray will book you a quiet table if you let him know.
Score 4/5

Service
Extremely good, friendly. Generous tasters supplied on request. I got a nice wedge of Burts cheese plus three crackers. He loves his business and only too happy to welcome customers. Can be rare these days.
Score 5/5

Value for money
Given the overall choice and extremely good quality and numerous freebies and offers:-
Score 5/5
Scores
Beer 5/5
Cider 5/5
Wine 5/5
Food 5/5
Service 5/5
Decor/style 4/5
Disabled facilities 4/5 
OVERALL SCORE 5/5
(My first ever 5/5)

Recommend?
Yes, yes, yes!
THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS:-
Needless to say Old Lard Ass arrived back pissed again. Hasn't he ever heard of the term 'Growing old gracefully?' Obviously not.