So let's get this right. Cameron gets tough on energy prices. He sends Chris Huhne to a summit with the Big 6 energy companies to tell them to reduce them.
Basically they say, 'Fuck Off and go and lag your boiler' and the government says 'OK' and... err... that's it.
What a crowd of Willie Wonkas!
What idiots voted these crew into power. (no pun intended.)
Well, I'm doing my bit. Switch all heating off during the day and sit in my conservatory with my 200 watt Tesco electric over-blanket on my knees to cut down the heating bills.
I only turn on the heating half an hour before Sinead comes in from work. Ain't I thoughtful?
The Blue Shed responds:
Thoughtful? Listen here Lard-Ass. While you are in there keeping your fat gut warm, I'm here in the bottom of your garden getting rained on, shat on and almost blown away in a 60mph wind!
Get real.
Look at you. Six months retired and you look like one of those ads from the Classifieds in the 'News of the World' where you sit in one of those zip-up quilt things all day just waiting for the bloody undertaker to call.
Ever hear of arterioschlerosis, DVT, haemostatis, stroke? No, I didn't think you had.
Get off your ass and get a job why doncha?
Monday 17 October 2011
Saturday 8 October 2011
More BLUE news
Well, it's been a while since my last blog. Holidays/work, bone-idleness to blame plus the terrible brain-damage suffered as a result of watching too many party conferences.
Spent summer in garden but am back at work now two days a week doing what I do best... telling other people how to get their lives in order. (A bit like Pol Pot giving lectures on racial tolerence.)
The GREAT news is that my great friend's scan was all-clear so things looking MUCH better on that front.
Off to Majorca today though Mrs H has no idea where we are going.
The holiday in Normandy in August was one of the best ever. Ate loads of oysters, horse-steak and drank their magic cider in copious quantities.
Have started a campaign to get Norman Evans, famed Rochdale comedian a blue plaque. Les Dawson built his 'over the garden wall' sketches on Norman's earlier work. Read all about my campaign at http://www.rochdaleonline.co.uk/news-features/2/news-headlines/61697/campaign-launched-for-norman-evans-to-be-recognised-with-blue-plaque
Have written to Paul Merton, Ken Dodd and Roy Hudd to try to get them to back me and I also have a few local councillors on-board.
My lovely red Range Rover died en-route to a bluegrass festival in Gloucester a few weeks ago. Write-off. Have now gone back to a Discovery td5 automatic in dark blue. It drives fab.
Just spent a boy's weekend with my mate Howard in Leicester. Boy, did we shift some booze*. (*NOTE: Rhetorical question.)
Retirement is the best thing I ever did even though I love my role as a volunteer. I get far more value out of it than I did at work. I really have set myself apart from all the NHS and trade union stuff emotionally as well as physically though I remain vice-chair of my branch.
News from my old employer, The Pennine Acute Getsmuchworse NHS Trust confirms the decision I made. Lions led by donkeys springs to mind. £2M of their budget has just been trousered by management consultants. When the public hears about how much money is being spent on the NHS, little do they realise how much of it is being shovelled out of the back door.
The friends who helped me get through the last 3-4 years of total crap are more valued by me than any mere words can describe.
I want to get back into some serious writing over the winter. Not sure what direction to go in but I need to earn some dosh. My pension would just about buy a Sudanese farmer a dead goat.
Talking about Sudan, did you see that cheap shot of the Tories who 'donated' their party political broadcast to the famine appeal? Pure schmaltz.
My beer-brewing is going from strength to strength. (No pun intended.) Got a barrel of 'Nelson's Revenge' on for Bonfire Night.
THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS
Well, at least old Lard-Ass has got off his backside for one and sorted the garden out. New lawn. New BLUE gate. Pity about all the cat shit. I still have to endure the local moggies having a yowl-fest every night and red and grey squirrels scuttling over my roof to get at the peanuts without so much as a by-your-leave.
I just wish it would stop pissing down. Good job Lard-Ass gave me a couple of coats of BLUE waterproof paint.
It's all gone quiet on the chininea war front. Think he's got his fingers burnt there. (Yes, SHEDS can make jokes too!)
Spent summer in garden but am back at work now two days a week doing what I do best... telling other people how to get their lives in order. (A bit like Pol Pot giving lectures on racial tolerence.)
The GREAT news is that my great friend's scan was all-clear so things looking MUCH better on that front.
Off to Majorca today though Mrs H has no idea where we are going.
The holiday in Normandy in August was one of the best ever. Ate loads of oysters, horse-steak and drank their magic cider in copious quantities.
Have started a campaign to get Norman Evans, famed Rochdale comedian a blue plaque. Les Dawson built his 'over the garden wall' sketches on Norman's earlier work. Read all about my campaign at http://www.rochdaleonline.co.uk/news-features/2/news-headlines/61697/campaign-launched-for-norman-evans-to-be-recognised-with-blue-plaque
Have written to Paul Merton, Ken Dodd and Roy Hudd to try to get them to back me and I also have a few local councillors on-board.
My lovely red Range Rover died en-route to a bluegrass festival in Gloucester a few weeks ago. Write-off. Have now gone back to a Discovery td5 automatic in dark blue. It drives fab.
Just spent a boy's weekend with my mate Howard in Leicester. Boy, did we shift some booze*. (*NOTE: Rhetorical question.)
Retirement is the best thing I ever did even though I love my role as a volunteer. I get far more value out of it than I did at work. I really have set myself apart from all the NHS and trade union stuff emotionally as well as physically though I remain vice-chair of my branch.
News from my old employer, The Pennine Acute Getsmuchworse NHS Trust confirms the decision I made. Lions led by donkeys springs to mind. £2M of their budget has just been trousered by management consultants. When the public hears about how much money is being spent on the NHS, little do they realise how much of it is being shovelled out of the back door.
The friends who helped me get through the last 3-4 years of total crap are more valued by me than any mere words can describe.
I want to get back into some serious writing over the winter. Not sure what direction to go in but I need to earn some dosh. My pension would just about buy a Sudanese farmer a dead goat.
Talking about Sudan, did you see that cheap shot of the Tories who 'donated' their party political broadcast to the famine appeal? Pure schmaltz.
My beer-brewing is going from strength to strength. (No pun intended.) Got a barrel of 'Nelson's Revenge' on for Bonfire Night.
THE BLUE SHED RESPONDS
Well, at least old Lard-Ass has got off his backside for one and sorted the garden out. New lawn. New BLUE gate. Pity about all the cat shit. I still have to endure the local moggies having a yowl-fest every night and red and grey squirrels scuttling over my roof to get at the peanuts without so much as a by-your-leave.
I just wish it would stop pissing down. Good job Lard-Ass gave me a couple of coats of BLUE waterproof paint.
It's all gone quiet on the chininea war front. Think he's got his fingers burnt there. (Yes, SHEDS can make jokes too!)
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