Well old Lard-Ass is up to something. Been a lot of hammering and banging going on over the last few days. I also felt a weird pricking sensation around my roof. What is he up to?
Yesterday his crazy brother-in-law came and put a new garden gate on. Today Lard-Ass painted it Blue. Had to laugh, as soon as he finished there was a cloudburst and half the paint was washed off. He is such a pillock!
The turf has taken well so I am now surrounded by a lush but rather small green lawn. Maybe he is after taking up croquet like that Lard-Ass Labour politician whose name I forget.
Something is definitely afoot. I don't like it. Is he going to torch me like he did with Blue Shed Mk 1? Who knows. He's mad enough for anything.
It is also a Bank Holiday weekend. That does not bode well. Lard-Ass usually gets drunk, invites friends round, plays Led Zeppelin and gets his harmonica out. He generally makes an idiot of himself.
I do not like it. Not one little bit.
A red and a grey squirrel came scampering over my felt-hat yesterday to rob his bird-feeder. Good on you boys but watch out for those bloody cats. They are vicious, yowling demons.
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